Adi Atman 4: stop pushing

by Ivan M. Granger

Original Language English

Adi Atman,

stop pushing

every time
you set your foot
upon the plain

I have lost
a home

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Commentary by Ivan M. Granger

A playful moment of spiritual crankiness, that lethargic reflex to stay in bed asleep.

A few years ago a did a series of poems addressed to Adi Atman. Adi Atman isn't really a proper name; it can be translated as "the primal Self," the heart of all being. So this poem is the voice of the ego complaining to the Eternal.

Every time the fundamental Self is recognized, every time another glimpse is found within the "plain" of awareness, less room is left for the ego. The ego becomes uneasy, questioning its ultimate security, wondering if it even exists at all. "I have lost a home."

The ego often drives the early stages of spiritual exploration, wanting to add a thing called 'spirituality' to its possessions. But at some point in the process, the ego's home is threatened by the presence of the Eternal, by the "foot" of "Adi Atman." The ego-self shouts back, "stop pushing!"

A dilemma every spiritual seeker must face: Where do you find the courage to proceed when the ego sees its territory diminishing? If we are the ego, going further is death and unthinkable. If we go forward anyway, then we must not be the ego... but then what are we?

The courageous seeker somehow manages to whisper, "Keep pushing anyway..."

Adi Atman 4: stop